Faking it

It hit us in a painful blast of pure epipheny.
Veera and me were walking down the street. Both in sexy black shoes, hair open, skinny jeans.

Except that my shoes were turning my feet an ugly shade of pink, my hair kept getting tangled in my watch and my jeans suddenly developed an aversion to my butt.


We're faking this girl thing.


It's as if we are constantly playing at being girls without actually having a frigging clue about what's happening. Real girlie girls scare me because I know they can see through all the layers of fakeness.

Gauche dosent even begin to sum it up :(

This is why teen fiction sells so amazingly well. Hunky stud boy-who-omigod!-also-reads-Niestche, always digs the rebel non-girly misfit leaving cheerleaders pouting in the background.

Real life is alarmingly,well,real. Straight shiny black hair always wins. Always!

Girls have looked at me like I'm frothing at the mouth when I confess that I personally look my best in my ratty Che teeshirt, shorts and grungy hair. We need an alternative universe where there is more than one appropiate way to sit in a mini-skirt.

It ended with me holding my shoes in my hands, skipping on hot concrete, hoping that gravity would ignore me for 2 minutes.

Ah, well, here's to fellow fakers out there for all the greusome social hara-kiri we may have comitted:


"Razy underwear creeping up my butt,
Razy underwear always in a rut"
-Phoebe Buffet.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Drift

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by
We'll just fly
-Aerosmith.

I wish I could.

Its been that sort of day.
Woke up this morning to Suchi's voice and that note of barely supressed horror in it.Mumbai is very far away right now. I feel like half a person. Rushed out in the cold to see the papers. When did life become this way?
My head wont even stay in one place. I've given up trying.

Its one endless drift. I think I understand despondancy now.

Exams over. A week of too much coffee, inkstains, paper and no sleep.
It was too cold to study much. I can't write when my finger nails are a revolting shade of blue.
Drift.

Manny passed away this morning. I cant picture his face without that half smile on it. And he brings back memories of all my classmates brought together after all these years by an aching sense of loss. I feel crappy that I cant be back home right now.
Drift.

I couldnt get out of bed all morning. Weird sleeping bouts, endless phone calls and this horrid cold daze. Drift. Drift and then drift some more.

For Manny:
(this is what my mum always prays for my grandma and grandpa)

"Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord and let your perpetual light shine upon them.
May their soul rest in peace. Amen"

Caramel latte

lCoffee cravings kick in at absurd times. In the middle of a viva for instance. Try answering rapid fire, with the words CoffeMocha singing themselves in the Spiderman tune in your head. Very psychedelic.

Nine days to go till the exams. DeeDee and me went out shopping of all things. for absurdly overdue birthday gifts. To this noble cause were sacrificed chilly auto rides and a caramel latte ice cream. Cold winds and ice cream go together brilliantly.
I should be studying. the moment is just right to be running around shrieking and screaming. there are a million things that should have been done yesterday.
made the following lists.

Things that make me happy:
1. Cadbury Shots
2.Walking around in the cold
3.Mark Knopfler

Things that make me mad:
1.Annoying geeks in my class who have their faces stuck so far up collective professorial asses, its a wonder they can still breathe.
2. Stupid hostel rules.
3. Studying in general :(

Dear God, Give us this day our daily chocolate.