Sunday, October 14, 2012

On death and dying


Things ended with Derek :| Not a good note, but these things never do. I'm in a state of hypershock, apparently having totally misread the situation for a very long time. It's been two weeks now, and I've been through more emotions that any brain should have to handle. I desperately wish I simply stopped caring, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I need a place to vent and this trusty blog is where I can think a little.
Long conversations with everyone about how/why/what of this very painful ending and it still seems as senseless as before.
I saw 500 days of summer again, I'll take any easy answer right now. I've always seen Summer's point of view so well before. She made so much sense. Till I saw things from Tom's perspective for the first time in my life and man, it sucks.
This is a garbled post, innit? Why are heart's so breakable?
So, I go through life on autopilot now. It's easy in a new place, with new people around. And all that work. But life seems to have lost some it's clarity now.
I'm tentatively getting back to a semblance of normalcy. Prowling coffee shops and libraries, walking on leafy trails with sensible people, talking to Sherin, Joy, Henna, Meher, Hetal, Vee, Dee ( I would be brain dead by now without you guys).
I read Kubler-Ross's theories for some direction. They almost make sense.



Shweta said...

I will at some point regret using this on a public forum, but <3, aggie.

Shweta said...

It's good to know your spelling hasn't improved.

Dharini said...

*many virtual hugs*

Aggie M said...

@ Shwetu! PDA is always welcome :) Let us shock the general public.
What did I misspell? I dint see any squiggly lines :(

@ Dee: Yay! Thanks :)Wish you were here for an actual hug too

Shweta said...

:| you just misspelt your clarification :| :|

Aggie M said...

Hot damn, I can never get it right :)

SSD said...

Wait, you 'saw' Summer's point of view? I felt, for Tom, from the bottom of my heart. I hate summer from the same depths.

What happened? I hope the 'death' is only metaphorical.

Aggie M said...

I did! I used to see what Summer felt. I felt superbad for Tom, but Summer was so logical.
Except that I think I dated a male Summer here and it's utterly miserable. I'm one with the Summer haters.
Karma, what a bitch.

Sharan said...

*tight hugs*

*and then some*

Shweta said...

I fear for your PhD thesis.