Thursday, November 27, 2008

Drift

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by
We'll just fly
-Aerosmith.

I wish I could.

Its been that sort of day.
Woke up this morning to Suchi's voice and that note of barely supressed horror in it.Mumbai is very far away right now. I feel like half a person. Rushed out in the cold to see the papers. When did life become this way?
My head wont even stay in one place. I've given up trying.

Its one endless drift. I think I understand despondancy now.

Exams over. A week of too much coffee, inkstains, paper and no sleep.
It was too cold to study much. I can't write when my finger nails are a revolting shade of blue.
Drift.

Manny passed away this morning. I cant picture his face without that half smile on it. And he brings back memories of all my classmates brought together after all these years by an aching sense of loss. I feel crappy that I cant be back home right now.
Drift.

I couldnt get out of bed all morning. Weird sleeping bouts, endless phone calls and this horrid cold daze. Drift. Drift and then drift some more.

For Manny:
(this is what my mum always prays for my grandma and grandpa
)

"Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord and let your perpetual light shine upon them.
May their soul rest in peace. Amen"

3 comments:

Sharanya said...

I wish i could drift, Aggie. I wish I could.

Such! said...

mag its makin me cry againn again. everything. mnny's half smile, cst stn, u knw hw manny used to call me 'jallo'..
shit i wish i dould drift

Aggie M said...

being so far away from all this shit is weird. coming back home will be hard this time :(